Monday, January 11, 2016

Man's Prognosis or God's? - #4

I was interested in seeing my pathology report, but I didn't hear from the doctors for almost two weeks. I called but didn't really get a straight answer. I finally just asked them to send me the report and that is when I discovered that my cancer had been misdiagnosed and now they said I have Leiomyosarcoma, a very aggressive form of cancer. 

Gary and I were anxious to talk to the oncologist to find out more. We were relieved that we had a doctor that was experienced and concerned for my well being. He didn't seem to have an agenda to get me through the conventional treatment. In fact, he highly discouraged the use of chemo and radiation in my case. So what kind of treatment is left from a conventional doctor? 

Fortunately for me, I have hormone receptors in my cancer. Not everyone does. This gives me a small window for optional treatment, aromatase drugs, hormone inhibitors. Without treatment or if this treatment doesn't work, he gave me 6-12 months of life. However, with the treatment the life expectancy is only 3-4 years. 

I went away very sobered but at peace. This is man's prognosis, not God's.  I don't know what God's will is for my life but I want to live it to the best I know for His glory for as long as I have. I believe in positive attitude as the best medicine. I also believe God gave us hundreds of natural remedies to be healed by. It is now my work to find the treatment plan that God specifically designed for me. 



God promises life, maybe not on this earth but forever in the earth made new. 

" I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." John 10:10

Thank you Laurie's Photography for the beautiful pictures!

Polishing the Gem of My Heart - #3

Once I got home from the hospital, I realized my pain meds were messing with my mind. I experienced depression so deep I envisioned I was going to die. I tried to connect with God and pull myself through the mess, but it wasn't until I quit the meds and my body detoxed of them that I started to think more clearly. 

The thing I couldn't shake for a long time was the seriousness of my whole situation and how it related to my relationship with God. I knew what my weaknesses were and I was overwhelmed with how God could work those out of my life. I had a hard time finding the joy in my trial. I found my mind would not focus which meant I couldn't read or watch anything. Nothing was amusing to me. I would just sit and stare out the window for hours in somber thought. I'm sure I was in shock and it took awhile for me to come out of it.

Gary and I talked about death some. We knew my case was serious, just not how serious. One night I went to bed asking God if I was going to live or die. His answer came immediately, "Does it matter?" Surprised, I realized it really didn't matter if I knew. I sould live my life in the same way whether it was short or long. That was a turning point for me. I decided to be positive and trust God with whatever happened and I finally found peace in my heart.

The trial started to take on a new meaning for me; 

1) I am in the middle of a spiritual warfare. Gary and I had written a book a few years ago refuting some popular attacks on the Sabbath. People all over the world have found our book helpful and have turned aside from this error. Just before I was struck down, I had an order for 200 more books that I sent out. Only a few weeks later someone shared with me that they had given a book to a family that had left the church for this error. They read the book and now are going back to church on Sabbath. I was so overjoyed. I know Satan is trying hard to keep this truth from reaching people and he is not happy that it is making a difference in lives.

2) I gave God permission to work in my life. My prayer was "Lord, please do whatever it takes to save my family for Your kingdom." It is a prayer of surrender allowing God to do anything to polish the roughness from my heart and my family. It is a scary prayer because whenever I have prayed it (maybe 3-4 times in my life) disaster seems to strike. This is when God's promises are treasured more than any other time. He promises never to leave us or forsake us. I live on the promises because His word has power.

3) Trials turn our affections from the world.  I found this quote quite encouraging. "In every affliction God has a purpose to work out for our good. Every blow that destroys an idol, every providence that weakens our hold upon earth and fastens our affections more firmly upon God, is a blessing."  ML 93

Polishing can hurt, but it proves that God thinks the roughness of my heart is worthy to be made into beautiful gem. He also promises to be right there with me. "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, 'Do not fear; I will help you.'" Isaiah 41:13 I have decided that there nothing on this world more important to me then living eternally with Jesus my Savior. This world is not my home, I'm just a passing through.

Sadly, I missed a lot of the Christmas festivities and spirit. On the Sabbath that our church's youth put on a concert I was disappointed to miss it for all my family was in it. However, after church more than thirty people squeezed themselves into our home and presented a mini concert of my own. It was such a blessing that so many cared to come cheer me up. 



Christmas came quickly and Emily was right on top of it. She bought all the presents and wrapped them, as well as prepared the Christmas meal. The holiday ended up turning out nice and I was happy to have my whole family with me. 
 


Sunday, January 10, 2016

It Can't Be Serious - Can It? - #2

Two years went by until May 2015. I started feeling something in my pelvis that caused a little pain when I pushed on it, but no big deal. It must be adhesions from the surgery. However, I thought two years was probably a good time to get a check up so off to the doctor I went. To my surprise the doctor found the spot right away. He felt a tumor. I agreed to a MRI and it turned out I had three small tumors. Bother! 

The doctor wanted to schedule surgery for July but I had other ideas. I wanted to try a formula called Protocel. It was made to lower the energy of the cancer cell and dissipate it. It was expensive but I believed in it. Besides I wanted to go to the Spokane ASI (mission/ministry emphasis) seminar in August with my family. I put off the surgery for three months to try my plan. I ended up pushing the surgery forward for five months. By then I was getting tired of the diarrhea that the treatment caused and decided to quit and tell the doctor I was ready for surgery. To my surprise he put me off and sent me to see an oncologist in Spokane.

Confused, I agreed, but I was glad I did. The doctor was really nice and knowledgeable and offered lots of hope for my cancer. Happy, I asked if we could wait until after Christmas to do the surgery and if we could do it where I lived. My doctor was agreeable, so I went home anticipating all the Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities. 

On December 3, before I could even enjoy the first scheduled Christmas party, I started feeling some severe pain in my abdomen. Because it was not going away and increasing in severity, I asked Emily to call my doctor. He was on his lunch break. I suggested we better head to the ER and groaned all the way to the hospital. The first hospital was full so we went on to the next. Good ol' Walla Walla General Hospital. They took me right away. By then I was almost passed out from the pain. My head was drooped to the side and I was hardly breathing. 

Gary showed up and he and Emily faithfully stayed by my side for hours. After a CT scan it was found that one tumor had grown really fast and had wrapped itself around a ureter. I was rushed into surgery and came back out with a stint. At least the pain was semi-bareable after that. The doctor in Spokane scheduled an emergency surgery for me in Spokane. Gary, Emily, and I drove up anticipating a week long stay. 

The surgery was not a routine as I had hoped. They had to chop off the damaged ureter and attach it to the one on the other side with a different stint. They also had to reconstruct the bladder where it had contact with the larger tumor. They were not even able to get all of the tumor so a quarter of it is still attached to the wall of my abdomen. It became very obvious this was not the slow-growing noninvasive cancer that we all thought it was. This one was aggressive. 

 A friend sent this stuffed animal with a warming bag to comfort me.

Seven days seemed like an awful long time for me to stay in the hospital, especially just before Christmas. As soon as I got to my room I asked the nurse if it would be all right if we put up Christmas lights. I got the OK and Emily went out the next day to find some decorations.




Nurses, assistant nurses, and doctors came and went. Of course I had my favorites, but even through my pain I always tried to be happy, polite, and considerate to them all. My very first nurse was the best. When I visited with her I told her what I thought a good nurse was and verified that she was that kind. It deeply touched her. The next day, knowing we wanted to decorate, she brought in a bag of Christmas decorations saying she happened to meet Santa on the way to work. Emily worked hard putting up the garland, lights, and ornaments. The Christmas spirit was in my room, but God was there too. Many nurses ended their shift saying I was their best patient and I had such a sweet family. I was humbled that I could be a Sermon in Shoes in a hospital bed just by my attitude.

However, as time wore on and I got more tired, matching the joy of my decorated room got harder. I cried to God to help me continue the happy attitude I didn’t feel anymore and He gave me the strength. Towards the end of my stay I noticed the housekeeper slip in early that morning and place a card on my table. She wanted to be the first one to see me that morning and tell me what joy the decorations brought and that everyone on the hospital floor loved me. Wow! I was so surprised. God used me in those challenging days to touch a lot of lives, even to the housekeeper whom I never saw except in the early morning.

On the morning we were to leave, we packed up the decorations and put a note on it for my favorite nurse. We thanked her for the blessing and asked her to pass on the joy. She sent me a note later that she did share the decorations and how blessed she was to meet us. The Sermon in Shoes lesson I learned is that even in our helplessness we can radiate God’s love to others around us. It is in our weakness that He gives strength.

We went home still not knowing what kind of cancer I had. It would be a week and a half before we found out.











No Big Deal - So I Thought - #1

The trouble started in the fall of 2012. I was feeling tired and sometimes I would get a sharp pain in my abdomen. A doctor friend suggested I get an MRI but I thought it was no big deal, so I ignored it. When 2013 rolled around the pain started hitting more frequently and severe. I ended up getting that MRI and discovered it was a 15 cm tumor taking up every available space in my abdomen. Surgery was scheduled and we waited for the pathology report. It came back as an Endometrial Stromal Sarcoma. The doctor said it was slow growing, radiation wasn't recommended, and the main treatment was surgery if it reoccurred. The survival rate was 99%. 

No big deal, I thought. I went to Eden Valley Lifestyle Center in Colorado for their 10-day program and then thought I was good. I wasn't going to worry about cancer ever again.


Eden Valley main office and my 10-day home 

 Lots of juices, teas, tinctures, and vitamins

Fever baths, hyperbaric chamber, and sauna treatments

Lectures, Worships, and Cooking classes

Hiking and Outings - I was the only lady patient and the youngest but I survived! 
They were a great bunch of guys.


  Wonderful food! Mostly raw

I felt God's presence there. 
It really was a good experience that I took home with me.